Monday, February 6, 2012

Fat, Part II.

First of all, I would like to thank all of you for the wonderful, thoughtful, intelligent and insightful responses to my last post. It's something that has been bothering me for quite some time, and I wasn't sure how to address it.

Although I don't think I would take back what I said, some excellent points have been made about perhaps being a little more sensitive towards/less defensive about the word fat. I think that you guys are right. Thinking about it, I find myself feeling like I am not quite to the point where I can accept/not be offended by that word specifically. I didn't mean for the post to come across as me bragging or disregarding those who are larger/fatter/curvier/whatever-er than me, because I am in awe of the multitude of stylish women who have far less options than I do. For that, I apologize. It was not my intent, and I do appreciate when people ask for my advice on where to shop. It's enormously flattering that anyone would care about my opinion on something as personal as style. Also, as Kirsty Lou pointed out, it is a privilege that I can shop in straight sized stores, one that I shouldn't take lightly.

I still have a lot of growing to do as far as my body image and sense of self, and I think that's all a part of the age that I am at. At 22, I feel far more confident and self assured than say, my 16 year old self. But I do have my moments of discouragement and self doubt. I would like to believe that will lessen over time, as it has been since adolescence.

I would love to hear more about your opinions on this topic, let me know in the comments here or on the original post. I'm blessed to have intellectual and opinionated readers, I ♥ you!


Lydia Armstrong said...

Well said.

How you feel about yourself will probably change a million times over the course of your life, and won't always get more positive with age. I feel less great about myself today at 30 than I did at 22, but I do have a better head on my shoulders and am better equipped to deal with my ups and downs.

Being a girl is hard, no matter what you look like or what size you are. It seems like everyone around us likes to make it even harder-- we're playing for a million different audiences, and trying to figure out which sides of ourselves feel the most authentic. But I think that a good place to start when you're having these kinds of thoughts is here-- in a community where others will get where you're coming from, remind you of points you forget on your own, and open the conversation up to help you work through your thoughts.

Emily said...

I've just recently stumbled across your blog (you were featured on HuffPost Style!) and I'm so impressed by the last few posts.

I know exactly (?) how you feel. I'm 22 as well, feeling a lot better about myself than when I was 16, and, for the first time since I can remember, my body image/weight is not something I think about every morning when I wake up, every time I eat, every night before I fall asleep...

Now that I think about...everything else in the world there is to think about, it's tough to remember why my happiness was so tied up with the number on the scale, or the fact that I could feel my thighs rubbing together, or the knowledge that I wouldn't look good in super skinny cigarette jeans.

But every once in a while, like you said, little doubts find their way back in. I'd just like to echo and support Lydia's point - this is such a constructive thing to do, both for yourself (probably) and for women/men who read your blog. Thank you for being courageous enough to share your thoughts, and for being open enough to respond to everyone's comments.

Btw, I love your February 7th outfit :)

Kristina Uriegas-Reyes said...

I was reading these two entries and was about to link to my similar BUST blog post, but then I was really excited to see that my post was actually what sparked your discussion!

I didn't read all the comments in the last entry, but I skimmed over it and was glad to see a lot of it was positive. It was kind of shit storm over at The word "privileged" was used quite a bit and as it seems to boil down, for both of us, that apparently we're not "fat enough" to understand and at least with a lot of the commentors at, it felt like I didn't have a right to an opinion because I was "privileged," which is a word with ugly connotations to me because it's just as bad as a skinny girl not letting us in "their skinny fashion group." I'm a constant advocate for plus-size models and fashion. I'd also love to see normal sized models (normal being what is considered in between high fashion thin and 'plus size') being integrated in the industry as well though. It's just too disproportionate in diversity.

I was afraid no one agreed with me when I wrote the post and wondered if I needed to apologize for my opinions, but I'm glad to see this post and I still believe style is style, no matter what the size.

Kristina Uriegas-Reyes
Contributing Editor
BUST Magazine

P.S. You should check out my personal style blog:
Twee Valley High:

Zoƫ, Lion Heart Vintage said...

Girl! First of all I just want to affirm and applaude your courage for speaking about your experiences. There is so much body shaming and straight up racism still happening in our society, and especially in the fashion industry, so way to step out and speak up.

Second, I think it is incredibly important for women of all backgrounds to continue to break silences about our experiences, opinions and journeys, and to encourage and support each other as we do that. How else can we challenge the hateful and oppressive messages out there? The fact that you were able to speak out in your last post, and that you heard people's responses and posted AGAIN about your reflections is so rad. It's a fucking tough world to live in sometimes, but (like we've discussed before) I think independent style blogs can be an excellent way to present alternative viewpoints that might not fit with the status quo.

From my understanding, the word "fat" has begun to be reclaimed and many activists (I would include bloggers under this title) are in the process of changing its meaning and negative connotations. However words are complex and they have different associations for different people, so it's totally understandable that you might still have issues with the word as a label.

Basically I guess the most important thing is to continually and respectfully engage in DIALOGUE about these things, otherwise how are we to grow and be empowered?

So way to go for bringing it up!

Love you so much lady, you're such an inspiration!



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