before on the blog, but I feel like bringing it up again.
I have always, since I can remember, felt as though I was outside the realm of "pretty girls". When I was growing up, my parents, when praising or complimenting me, would say things like 'You're smart' or 'talented' or 'did a good job', which in hindsight, was probably a very good thing. These remarks taught me that I should value my intelligence and talents and not rely on my looks. But on the flipside, those compliments reinforced an idea in my head that I was not beautiful. Although smart and articulate, I would not be considered pretty by the rest of the world. Now, I'm sure this sounds a little melodramatic, but for a long time, this is how I felt. Then came blogging. When I started out posting photos of me in my backyard almost 3 years ago, I was sort of just doing it as an experiment. I was finding many beautiful and real girls who wore the coolest outfits, and I was inspired to try and dress to please myself, just like they were. In the beginning, I wasn't nearly as confident as I am now. But as time passed, and I got compliments and encouragment from random strangers who really had no obligation to boost my self esteem, I started to think that maybe I did have something to offer.
The world of blogging can be kind of overwhelming at times, because you find blog after blog after blog of thin, modelesque (sometimes they are models) girls, who have amazing wardrobes, perfect faces and a seemingly endless wallet. Believe or not, there are many times when I feel doubtful of myself. It could be a rude look from a stranger, or a glance at an ad that makes me think 'I'll never look like that.' And I admit, there are times when I wonder: "Is there a point to me doing this? I mean, I don't look like I just came off a runway, and I'm certainly not wearing Christian Louboutins, Marc Jacobs, or the lastest Mui Mui heels. How can I be an inspiration, or even interesting with such meager means? Would anyone even want to read my blog?" But I think that you lovely readers have shown me that just because someone is of a different background or body type doesn't make their point of view any less valid or interesting. I appreciate every email and every comment, because it makes me believe that there is room for change in the fashion industry, and even in the mainstream. As much as I may wish that I had a doll like pout like Lindsey Wixson or gorgeous freckled skin and red hair like Cintia Dicker, I'm starting to believe that the skin I'm in isn't half bad. I might look different than most of the people around me, but different doesn't have to mean bad. I'm discovering day by day what makes me beautiful...
"Glamour is profound. Glamour is saying: I want to be as beautiful as I can be -to myself first and then to anyone else who has enough sense to see" -Maya Angelou
How about you? What makes you feel beautiful? What makes others beautiful to you?